Not a Victim #10: How to Be Strong When Confronted By a Narcissistic Personality?

James 4:11-12 Don’t criticize one another, brothers. He who criticizes a brother or judges his brother criticizes the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. The | Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

10 important things to know, to be Strong

1. Know who’s you are 
2. Know who you are in Christ 
3. Know who is in control
4. Know who the enemy is
5. Pray
6. Be in Gods Word
7. Keep eyes off of self
8. Walk away before the mouth goes a direction it shouldn’t 
9. Let go of the bitterness 
10. Forgive 

These sound easy enough. And with Faith and Trust in God they should be. But, our humanity is weak. Not only do we need to hold back our desires of revenge, we need to resist the temptation to react to the bait. We need to watch for tricks and snares the enemy throws our way. These tricks and snares can come from a friendly source that can throw you completely off track. So, no, it’s not easy. 

I will say that by writing this blog, researching narcissistic traits and learning about gaslighting, I’ve become more aware, more prepared, and stronger. Recently, after a run on just about every narcissistic tactic I’ve learned about, I was able to stay strong and not react. Because I did not react in a way in which the narcissist wanted, the conversation, (if you want to call it that) took many  twists and turns, encompassing just about every tactic out there. Finally, I ended the conversation with a direct statement. Bold. Truth. Strong. “Stop gaslighting me. It is not going to work.” Immediate silence. The response from the narcissist personality? A quick wave of the hand and a low soft word. “Go do your thing.”

Let me pause here, and assure you that this was a super natural event. In no way was this accomplished in my own power. The Holy Spirit definitely had the upper hand in this moment!

Because we are human, we tend to take credit, along with the bitterness and the anger. We must be strong and not allow the bullying, not allow the gaslighting, not allow the demeaning actions. Yet at the same time, be forgiving and understanding and loving. 

We must forgive. We must let go of the bitterness. 

Venting is ok for a time, but if it continues too long the bitterness takes root and is toxic. We also need to be careful who we vent to. 

There is a satisfaction in knowing others see the truth in how somebody treats you. Especially if it’s been hidden for so long. I’ve always liked the saying, “The truth will always come out.” 

My tongue sparks out anger and resentment as I vent. And then I read the scripture James 3 to 5 and I am convicted of my tongue. Everyone is made in Gods image, and God will be their judge. By taking the judging into my own hands I too will be judged. Again this person wins if I stoop down to their level. 

I myself don’t want to be on a level even close to the narcissistic personality!

#bitterness #depression #strength #love #refuge #toxic #forgivness #Godslove #Jesus