Love, Forgiveness and the Armor of God Story Blog-May

Nova was excited to see Rose. But why did Rose need to arrive so late in the evening?Nova was still hoping she could convince Rose to sleep downstairs. After all, it was fully set up with a bed, a closet and a bathroom. And it would give Rose her privacy. Not to mention, Nova would not have to give up her office. 

The time finally was here. Rose arrived, and as much as Nova tried to talk her into setting up in the basement, Rose insisted on setting up in the office. Rose just barged in and started moving Novas stuff out and around to make a spot for this huge air mattress Rose brought. Rose took over, without giving Nova any say. Nova didn’t want to get into it on their first night, so she said goodnight and let Rose do her thing. Nova had a whole month to work with Rose. She had plenty of time. 

The next few days Nova played it cool. She tried to tell Rose what to do as nice as she could, but Rose had her mind made up with what she wanted. A few days into the visit, Nova lost control. Nova was tired of acting, and told Rose how she felt. Rose was different and Nova told her so. Rose had a mind of her own and wouldn’t listen to anything Nova tried to tell her. It was going to be a bigger challenge than Nova thought. Many years ago, before Rose moved out, she did whatever Nova told her too. When Nova told Rose to jump, Rose asked how high. Now when Nova told Rose to jump, Rose told her not this time. It was so frustrating to Nova. As far as Nova was concerned, Rose made a mess of her life and she embarrassed Nova in front of her friends. Nova tried a new approach and started acting helpless. Maybe that would make Rose feel bad and feel like she had to stay and take care of Nova. But all that did was give Rose a way of thinking she was better than her by telling her what she needed to do for herself. Nova hated being told what to do, especially by a nobody like Rose. Then Nova thought maybe she would just tell Rose how miserable Roses life was, and that she didn’t have to live that way. But then Rose disappeared more often. Then, out of no where, Rose spoke up and told Nova to stop playing games. Nova was shocked and didn’t know how to react, so she backed off.  It was then that Nova realized she had lost Rose, and Nova was ready for her to leave. Nova dropped comment here and there. She would tell her friends in the phone, that she couldn’t wait to have her office back.  She would drop comments like, you must miss being home. Then, Nova kept to herself and let the time go by. When the day came for Rose to leave, Nova was ready. No tears, only relief. Nova had lost Rose, and she knew it.  

The day is here! Rose arrived late. The bed was not made, no sheets or blankets around, nothing prepared for her to sleep on. She wondered how Nova expected her to sleep downstairs with an old stained mattress, with no linens, in the middle of an unfinished dirty basement, and a drying rack full of old clothes for a closet. But Rose came prepared. She had an air-mattress and linens all pre delivered. All she had to do now was to prepare the sleeping room. Rose carefully moved things around as needed, making note of where everything was, taking pictures, and making sure Nova was ok with where she was putting her things. Nova said goodnight and headed to bed, while Rose set herself up trying to be as non evasive in Novas home as possible. 

Rose had every excuse to be vindictive. Nobody who knew what she had gone through with Nova would ever blame her. But Rose had a different motivation for this month long stay. Rose wanted to make right the old memories she had of her youth. Rose wanted to be at peace with Nova, wanted to complete the forgiveness inside of her. Rose felt it was a calling from God Himself to do so. Nobody else would understand. But that was ok, because this was between her and God only. This was so personal that it was even hard to Rose to explain. 

The visit went smoothly for the most part, at least for a few days. Then, something was in the air. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling, it was a tense and cold atmosphere that breeded anxiety and sadness. 

Rose felt like she was being attacked by every word that came out of Novas mouth. Not only the words themself, but the tone and body movements as well. Rose could do no right. Time for the escape routes, walking and showering and early bed times were her favorite. The walks were so peaceful. The neighborhood was so clean and lush with green grass and well groomed homes. The weather was the perfect temperature, not too cold or too hot. Rose couldn’t ask for a better escape. But a week or so into the visit, Rose was closed up in her sleeping room, in tears and ready to schedule a flight home. It was just too much, she couldn’t take another day of being nagged, talked down to, and told how terrible she was. But, in the midst of her sadness, God gave her a peace. A strange peace. He told Rose all will be ok. He comforted her and gave her a new will and strength to complete her commitment.  God revealed to Rose secrets about Nova that can not be seen on the surface. Secrets like loneliness, fear, quilt, loss of identify. These secrets were hidden from human knowledge, yet God reveiled them to Rose. God allowed Rose to see past the tough, mean, angry, bitter, vindictive, spiteful exterior of this women. Rose was able to see the sweet loving woman beneath the thick exterior. She was able to know, maybe briefly, the love this woman really had for Rose, though even Nova didn’t realize it. Because of this vision and filling of the Holy Spirit, Rose was able to finish out the month of her commitment with peace and fond memories. But most of all, with a forgiveness that only God can give. 

Not a victim…when we have God on our side, He will fill us with His Holy Spirit to give us peace and comfort, no matter what. 

Rose will not be going back for an extended stay, will not be a doormat, and will not allow the abuse and toxic environment anymore. Rose will keep the new memories and the new strength she has found to move on with her life. Rose will be civil to Nova and will keep a guarded relationship. But the healing process has begun with Rose and maybe, just maybe, with Nova. God gives up on no one, and neither should we.